The
Myth
has
been
demolished.
We
all
know
mmmmmmm...Malika
Sherawat
was
on
screen
in
this
celebration
of
esoteric
tripe
for
all
of
9
minutes.
Then
we
heard
she
was
doing
something
with
Tom
Cruise.
Don't
ask
what!
Now
she
makes
claims
of
another
Hollywood
assignment.
Oh,
please!
9
minutes
out
of
Andy
Warhol's
howl
of
fame?
Not
quite...The
Myth
isn't
going
to
make
Mallika
a
global
phenomenon.
What
it
does
is
to
prove
once
and
for
all
that
Shabana
Azmi
or
Mallika
Sherawat
....Bollywood
is
crazy
about
getting
noticed
abroad.
Years
ago
Shabana
was
all
charged
about
being
signed
by
Blake
Edwards
for
the
movie
Pink
Panther
movie.
So
were
all
her
diehard
fans,
like
yours
truly.
Finally
her
role
turned
out
to
be
as
minuscule
as
Mallika's
clothes.
"But
I
got
paid
handsomely
and
was
treated
like
a
true
princess," Shabana
still
defends
what's
arguably
her
most
embarrassing
international
sojourn.
Would
Shabana
have
done
her
10-minute
evil
princess'
act
in
a
Bollywood
film?
...Cut
to
present
times.
Would
Mallika
do
her
9-minute
show-all
princess'
act
for
a
Ram
Gopal
Varma
flick?
Obviously
not!
Mallika
was
offered
an
item
song
for
Varma's
James.
She
told
the
producer
she
would
do
it
if
there
was
a
nice
meaty
role
attached
to
the
song.
Ramu
got
Riya
Sen
to
do
the
item.
Wait,
one
is
a
little
lost
here.
Mallika
has
a
problem
doing
an
item
song
for
Ram
Gopal
Varma.
She
has
no
problems
being
seen
doing
practically
nothing
in
a
Jackie
Chan
flick.
Strange!
Not
only
that,
when
Chan
chugged
to
Bollywood
for
one
days'
promotional
tour
for
The
Myth,
Ms
Sherawat
clung
to
his
arm
like
a
life-boat.
"She
made
it
quite
clear
that
she
wanted
to
be
seen
with
Jackie
in
every
frame
of
the
photographers'
lenses.
And
she
went
to
extreme
lengths
to
make
sure
she
was
Jackie's
girl
for
the
24
hours
that
he
was
here," said
a
publicist
for
the
project.
Flattered
out
of
his
pants,
Chan
openly
told
the
press
corps
that
he
had
agreed
to
come
only
because
Mallika
had
called
and
pleaded
with
him
to
do
so.
This
embarrassing
confession
came
after
Chan
threw
more
tantrums
in
Mumbai
than
Zsa
Zsa
Gabor
and
Britney
Spears
put
together.
Oh,
he
didn't
want
to
talk
to
the
press
members
individually,
didn't
want
interactive
sessions
with
fans....didn't
want
to
be
in
Mumbai
for
more
than
24
hours...didn't
want
this
and
that.....
Good
Lord!
By
the
end
of
his
visit
,
Chan's
Mumbai
hosts
were
on
the
brink
of
a
collective
nervous
breakdown.
But
the
final
straw
was
the
confession
that
he
had
come
only
for
Mallika.
Wow!
Should
we
be
grateful
to
her
for
getting
the
demi-god
of
kick-the-butt
cinema
into
our
wretched
country,
or
not?
Why
do
we
take
this
kind
of
behaviour
from
international
celebrities
who
grant
us
a
bit
of
their
precious
time
and
attention?
Achcha
chalo,
at
least
Jackie
Chan
is
a
major
star,
and
we
could
be
forgiven
for
falling
at
his
feet.
After
all
we
prefer
Ben
Kingsley
to
Naseeruddin
Shah
as
Gandhi.
Even
when
American
porno
star
Brande
Rodericks
came
to
Bollywood
for
a
long-forgotten
movie
we
rolled
out
the
'wrecked'
carpet
and
blew
the
bugles
as
though
she
were
Jennifer
Aniston
with
a
silicone
implant.
Worse....Meera
from
Pakistan
comes
to
our
country,
avails
of
our
hospitality
,
gets
signed
for
female-centric
films
and
goes
back
home
to
bad-mouth
Bollywood
and
Aishwarya
Rai.
Why
do
we
encourage
the
Meeras
of
the
world
to
behave
so
badly
with
us?
Why
do
we
need
them
in
the
first
place,
when
we
have
such
a
fine
and
glamorous
gallery
of
actors
in
Bollywood?
Let's
applaud
biggies
like
Amitabh
Bachchan,
Shah
Rukh
Khan,
Hrithik
Roshan
and
Kareena
Kapoor
who
have
repeatedly
said
they've
no
interest
in
Hollywood
and
would
rather
devote
their
time
and
attention
on
home
ground.
And
I
love
John
Abraham's
cautious
attitude
when
he
confesses
to
me,
"I
don't
want
to
talk
about
my
international
project
until
they
solidify.
I
don't
want
to
end
up
sounding
like
just
another
Bollywood
wannabe
in
Hollywood."
The
example
of
Aamir
Khan
looms
large
over
Bollywood.
After
the
global
success
of
Lagaan
he
appointed
himself
an
Hollywood
agent.
Nothing
happened.
So
the
next
time
you
read
about
some
Bollywood
two-bit
hero
claiming
he
has
been
signed
by
a
"big
Hollywood
studio" to
play
the
lead,
please
tell
him
to
shut
up.
Hollywood
doesn't
need
Bollywood
stars.
And
we
don't
really
need
actors
from
outside
to
let
us
know
what
stardom
is
all
about.
Because
we
in
India
have
the
biggest
star
in
the
world.
And
his
name
is
Amitabh
Bachchan.