Plot
Few
seconds
into
the
film
and
we
get
treated
to
the
lushery
of
North
India
where
we
see
Sarah
Thapar
(Kiara
Advani)
indulging
in
some
charity
work
at
an
orphanage.
The
next
moment,
the
high-heeled
lady
is
zooming
past
the
roads
off
the
valleys
in
her
car
only
to
get
it
skid
over
an
oil
spill.
But
for
the
saviour
that
she
is,
she
prevents
another
car
from
meeting
a
similar
fate.
Turns
out
the man is
a
Prince
Charming
named
Ransh
(Mustafa)
who
now
only
has
eyes
for
Ms
Thapar
who
has
already
occupied
the
driving
seat
of
his
car
while
taking
a
lift
from
him
to
reach
her
hostel.
Their
next
meeting happens
at
a
car
racing
event
where
both
of
them
are
the
participants.
As
expected,
Ransh
wins
the
race
and
throws
in
a
Baazigar
moment
when
the
leading
lady
asks
him
the
secret
of
his
truimph.
"Main
break
par
paaon
nahi
rakhtaa....kyunki
mujhe
maut
se
daar
nahi
lagtaa",
the
boy
says
with
a
straight
face
and
you
suddenly wish
that
this
scene
never
existed
in
the
first
place.
After
a
sub-plot involving
a
creepy
stalker,
a
done-to-death
Romeo
Juliet
play
and
filler
songs
with
the
leads
donning
some
color-cordinated
costumes,
Sarah
and
Ransh
get
hitched.
Of
course,
with
the
permission
of
Sarah's
daddy
dearest
Mr
Thapar
(Ronit
Roy).
The
newly
married
couple
go
on
a
honeymoon
trip
where
they
break
into
a
romantic
song.
And
then
comes
a
big
shocker
the
next
morning,
when
post
their
love
confession
towards
each
other, Ransh
tosses
Sarah
off
the
cliff
of
a
mountain
in
the
most
ridiculous
way.
(Just
throw
the
laws
of
physics
out
of
the
window
at
this
juncture,
please!)
The
rest
of
the
film unravels
the
mystery
behind
the
reason for
Ransh's
shocking
act
of
crime.
Direction
It
is
quite
disheartening
to
see
this
flick
churned
out
from
the
Abbas-Mustan
stable
who
are
known
for
their
forte
in
the
genre
of
thrillers!
Machine
borrows
heavily
from
Abbas-Mastan's
previous
works,
but
sadly
the
story
is
never
gripping
enough to
keep
you
hooked
with
its
predictable
twists
and
turns.
The
super
cheesy
dialogues
add
more
to
your
woes
as
you
struggle
to invest
yourself
in
this
boring
fest.
Illogical
characters
and
even
more illogical
situations,
Machine
ticks
off
most
of
the
checkboxes
when
it
comes
to
making
a
disaster.
Need
we
say
more?
Performances
The
film
is
Mustafa's
launch
pad
and
we
really
feel
for
you,
boy!
His
attempt
to
rescue
this
sinking
ship
just
proves
futile
and
you
simply
fail
to
connect
with
his
character
as
his
acting
histronics
never
show
up
in
your
radar
while
watching
the
film.
Kaira
Advani
gets
to
don
flowing
gown
dresses,
flutter
her
eyelashes
and
basically
look
pretty.
The
lesser
said
about
Eshan
Shanker
and
Carla
Dennis
the
better.
Ronit
Roy,
you
definitely
need
a
hug
to
help
you
to
get
over
this
nonsensical
ride.
And
yes,
it
pinches
to
see
Johnny
Lever
struggling
to
add
some
humour
element
in
the
film
in
the
most
forced
way
possible!
Technical
Aspects
You
end
up
chuckling
at
the
ridiculous
dialogues.
Most
of
them
seem
to
have
drawn
inspiration
from
the
Facebook
posts
of
some
loverlorn
soul.
Sample
this-
'Main
tumhare
hothon
ki
lipstick
toh
kharab
karunga
par
tumhare
ankhon
ka
kajal
kabhi
nahi.' and
'5
minute
ke
liye
kisi
ka
phone
mil
jaye
toh
uski
jaat,
paat,
aukat
sab
pata
chal
jaye!
Another
one
goes
like
'First
love
burns
the
brightest'.
I
mean
like
seriously
dude,
it's
2017!
The
only
ray
of
sunshine
in
Machine
are
the
picturesque
locations
that
you
just
want
to
disappear
off
to
avoid
such
cinematic
disasters
in
the
future.
At
a
runtime
of
148
minutes,
the
film
tests
your
patience
of
withstanding
an
irrational
plot.
Music
When
would
Bollywood
stop
messing
up
with
old
songs?
The
reworked
version
of
'Ek
Chatur
Naar'
and
'Tu
Cheez
Badi
Hai
Mast
Mast'
put
you
into
musical
coma
and
ruin
your
age
old
memories
associated
with
these
classics
forever!
The
rest
of
the
songs
are
highly
forgetable
and
look
more
as
fillers.
Verdict
Keeping
your
brain,
heart
and
other
functional
organs
aside
is
highly
advisable if
you
EVER
plan
to
plunge yourself
in
this
abyss.
For
those
who
are
lucky
enough
to
escape
from
its
clutches,
let's
just
stick
to
Akshay
Kumar-
Raveena
Tandon's
Tu
Cheez
Badi
Hai
Mast
Mast
song
instead!