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Shocking: Jennifer Lopez Reveals Her Darker Past

Jennifer Lopez might look smiling, bold and sexy with her bootylicious figure. However, the diva has recently revealed the darker past of her life. In her new memoir True Love, fans will get to know more about the personal side of the 45-year-old singer turned actress. Jennifer Lopez has opened up about her failed relationships and reveals the moment she knew she had to divorce her third husband Marc Anthony.

Talking about the time when she felt she had a panic attack while being married to Marc, JLo said, "As I sat there (during a photoshoot) getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe... I became consumed with anxiety."

The American Idol judge further writes (as excerpted by People), "What was happening to me? I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, 'Benny, something is happening! I feel like I'm going crazy.'"

Jennifer Lopez Reveals Her Darker Past

Earlier JLo admitted that she doesn't like to be alone and that her panic attack finally forced her to reevaluate her relationship status.

After celebrating their 7th wedding anniversary, JLo was struggling in her personal life. Recalling it, she wrote, 'It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: 'I don't think I can be with Marc anymore.' Then I burst into tears." JLo and Marc Anthony got married in 2004 and after 7 years, the couple filed for divorce.

Talking about her success and life which looked picture perfect, Jennifer cleared, "Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great. I had a husband and two beautiful children. I was on American Idol and my new single ''On The Floor'' had gone to number one all over the world." She added, "What people didn't know was that life really wasn't that good," she continues. "My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified."

The single mother of twins Max and Emme (with Marc) admitted that she has had abusive relationships in the past. "I've never gotten a black eye or busted lip, but I have been in relationships where I felt abused one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally," she shares. "I know what it feels like for your soul to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you..."

We did not know this side of JLo as she always looked happy in front of the camera and kept smiling. We really hope the gorgeous diva is out of the past and having a good life!

Read more about: jennifer lopez, marc antony
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