Thursday, May 31, 2007
Britney Spears was "lost" and had "hit rock bottom" when she suffered her breakdown, she has confessed. The singer has offered fans a heartfelt explanation as to why she checked into rehab, blaming her excessive partying and split from husband Kevin Federline for her erratic behaviour and strained mental state. Britney wrote on her personal website: "Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD (attention deficit disorder). "I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realised how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost." Mother-of-two Britney, 25, also revealed she has had to "to cut so many people out of my life", because she was "too open" in the past.
The 'Toxic' singer - who has two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, from her failed relationship with Kevin - insists motherhood has helped her face up to her problems. She added: "Right now, I am having to face a lot of things since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough. "I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter... to maybe allow people to look at me differently." Britney ended her emotional letter by bizarrely saying she couldn't wait to meet God. She wrote: "It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him... or her." Britney was photographed clubbing without her underwear and publicly shaved all her hair off before spending a month in Malibu's Promises rehab centre earlier this year.