Mumbai,
Jul
7
(PTI)
It’s
been
a
year
since
Dilip
Kumar’s
death
and
it’s
as
if
the
very
colour
has
drained
out
of
Saira
Banu’s
life.
He
was
her
husband
of
55
years,
her
anchor,
her
world
and
days
without
him
are
“pheeka”,
the
legendary
actor’s
wife
said
on
Thursday.
Doctors
have
advised
her
to
mix
with
people
but
that
is
a
“difficult
thing”
despite
her
efforts
to
move
on,
Saira
Banu
said
on
Dilip
Kumar’s
first
death
anniversary.
"My
life
is
'pheeka’
without
Yousuf
saheb.
This
is
a
different
kind
of
love.
You
just
cannot
replace
some
people
in
your
life.
Give
me
all
the
wealth
in
the
world
and
Dilip
saheb
on
one
side,
and
I
would
want
Dilip
saheb,"
Saira
Banu
told
PTI
in
an
interview
here.
He
may
have
been
Dilip
Kumar,
amongst
the
few
etched
into
the
annals
of
cinema
with
roles
in
films
such
as
“Mughal-e-Azam”
and
“Shakti”,
but
for
Saira
Banu
he
was
her
'saheb'.
The
twinkle
in
his
eyes,
his
love
for
Hindustani
classical
music,
and
his
fondness
for
special
tea
poured
from
an
equally
special
piece
of
crockery...
these
are
just
a
fistful
of
vivid
memories
that
the
veteran
actor
recounts
of
her
husband
she
had
idolised
since
she
was
12.
Many
such
memories
will
be
stirred
today,
a
year
since
he
passed
away
at
the
age
of
98.
"We
will
have
a
prayer
meeting
with
our
family
and
close
friends,
who
remembered
the
day
when
we
lost
him.
We
will
get
together
to
meditate
and
pray
that
his
soul
rests
in
peace
and
that
he
may
be
in
the
best
place
of
Jannat
with
his
God,"
she
added.
Kumar,
whose
real
name
was
Mohammad
Yousuf
Khan,
was
the
Nehruvian
hero
who
embodied
the
hopes
and
dreams
of
a
new
India
and
went
on
to
become
a
star
that
glittered
bright
in
a
series
of
hits
through
seven
decades.
According
to
his
devoted
wife,
it
was
Kumar
who
helped
her
deal
with
the
loss
of
her
grandmother,
Hindustani
classical
vocalist
Shamshad
Begum
Sahiba,
her
mother
Naseem
Banu,
India’s
first
beauty
queen-actor,
and
brother
Sultan
Ahmed.
"I
had
the
courage
to
move
on
then
because
I
had
the
tender
care
and
strong
emotional
support
of
Yousuf
saheb.
He
had
his
own
way
of
telling
me
to
come
to
terms
with
the
inevitable
and
insurmountable
hardships
and
losses
in
my
life.
"He
had
his
own
way
of
consoling
me
and
also
subtly
asserting
that
life
has
to
go
on
and
no
mortal
is
immortal.
Today,
a
year
has
gone
by
and
I
am
trying…
(but)
in
vain
to
move
on." Saira
Banu
said
she
misses
him
every
day.
"I
miss
him.
I'm
all
alone
now.
Emotionally,
I
am
not
well
and
that
reflects
on
my
health," she
added.
The
77-year-old
has
been
in
and
out
of
hospitals
since
Kumar's
death.
"I
have
had
several
visits
to
the
hospital.
I
have
been
unwell
the
whole
year.
My
life
centred
around
him
from
morning
till
night.
"I
am
not
trying
to
be
a
martyr,
I
am
trying
to
tell
you
the
actuality…
that
I
was
totally
involved
with
him.
There
was
no
question
about
me
wanting
to
step
out
or
meet
people,
I
only
wanted
to
be
with
Dilip
saheb,"
Saira
Banu,
who
starred
opposite
Kumar
in
films
such
as
"Gopi"
and
"Sagina",
said.
A
wife
dons
several
masks
of
a
lover,
mother,
friend,
and
fan,
she
said.
"It
was
no
great
effort
on
my
part
because
every
second
and
every
minute,
I
wanted
to
look
after
him.
When
he
was
terribly
unwell,
I
would
pray
and
meditate
to
bring
him
out
of
it
and
pray
to
god
to
make
him
well."
In
the
last
one
year,
her
brother
Sultan’s
son
Raihan
Ahmed
has
been
her
pillar
of
strength.
"Raihan
is
like
my
own
son.
He
is
here
all
the
time.
He
manages
all
my
property
matters,
he
looks
after
me.
He
is
a
great
anchor
in
my
life
now."
Industry
colleagues
and
close
friends
Dharmendra
and
Amitabh
Bachchan
have
also
been
in
touch
with
her,
she
said.
"For
the
last
40
years
Dharmendra
has
been
very
close
to
me
and
Yousuf
saheb.
He
is
like
a
family
member
to
us.
Prakash
(Kaur)
ji
and
Hema
(Malini)
have
also
been
very
sweet.
Amitabh
is
also
very
kind,
courteous
and
loving."
PTI
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