Hours
before
I
saw
white-and-all-black
I
asked
a
colleague
what
kind
of
a
review
she
was
going
to
give
the
film.
"I'm
not
going
waste
any
space
on
this
one," she
retorted.
Frankly,
even
for
a
diehard
movie
buff
like
yours
truly
sticking
through
this
piece
of
risible
rap
(give
or
take
a
'c')
was
an
ordeal
akin
to
a
visit
to
the
dentist.
No,
I
take
that
back.
I
any
day
prefer
molar
surgery
to
watching
white
black
and
red-faced
farces.
First
the
positive
comments.
Suniel
Shetty
as
the
boor
from
Hoshiarpur
chasing
poor
Arshad
Warsi
all
over
Goa
in
the
effort
to
bring
him
back
to
the
village
for
a
barren
stretch
of
land,
safeguarding
a
spoilt
heiress
from
debauchery
is
obviously
inspired
by
Akshay
Kumar
in
Sabse
Bada
Khiladi.
Sunil
does
the
innocent-abroad
act
with
a
warmth
and
compassion
that
this
project
doesn't
deserve.
The
land
of
the
bland
stretches
from
the
first
frame
to
the
last.
The
first-half
does
have
a
few
funny
moments,
like
Sunil's
dhoti
being
pulled
off
by
a
dour
doggie(ha
ha
ha)
and
a
roguish
Warsi
hoodwinking
an
innocent
Goa
ki
gori
(newcomer
Rashmi
Nigam)
into
believing
his
double
is
doing
all
the
gadbad
(Jewel
Thief,
anyone?).
The
second
half
is
based
entirely
on
a
series
of
improvised
gags
with
the
Warsi-Shetty
duo
trying
hard
to
breathe
life
into
a
dead
script.
Once
director
Shivdasani
takes
the
characters
to
Goa
he
seems
to
have
gone
on
a
holiday.
And
he
seems
to
have
taken
the
scriptwriter
(if
he
ever
existed)
with
him.
What
we
are
left
with
is
an
amateurish
clumsy
parade
of
skits
masquerading
as
spurts
of
satire.
But
acute
exasperation
is
all
this
furiously
frigid
'wannbe'-funny-film
gets
out
of
us.
Tediously
structured
to
echo
the
manipulative
maneuvers
of
a
monstrously
mediocre
man
of
mirth
who
can't
tell
the
difference
between
cheers
and
jeers
Mr.
White...
makes
you
think
only
black
thoughts
about
the
future
of
comedy.
Arguably,
Mr.
White&Mr.
Black
is
the
worst
comedy
to
have
come
out
of
Mumbai's
dream
factory
in
recent
times,
lower
down
on
the
scale
of
pale
laughter
than
even
the
horrendous
Rama
Rama
Kya
Hai
Drama.
It's
not
the
quality
of
performances
(Shetty
good,
Warsi
very
good,
and
some
of
the
supporting
cast
more
tolerable
than
the
material
allows
them
to
be).
It
isn't
even
the
fault
of
the
production
values
(Thomas
Xavier's
cinematography
gets
Goa
going
on
a
'slight'-seeing
spree).
Damnit,
so
who's
to
blame
for
the
roya-all
mess
of,
ha
ha,
a
comedy
about
a
lovable
charlatan
who
poses
as
a
diamond
robber
and
hotel
owner
and
god-knows-what-else
in
this
you
me
and
ho-hum
laugathon
which
thinks
jokes
about
skin
colour
(Ashish
Vidyarthi
is
called
koyle
ki
khaan)
and
humor
about
a
dead
mother
(Shashikala
in
a
guest
appearance)
being
relived
through
old
Hindi
movies
could
keep
the
spirit
of
a
modern-day
satire
alive.
Sorry,
Mr.
White
and
Mr.
Black
is
as
amusing
as
a
dog
peeing
on
a
Kashmiri
carpet.
Who
just
urinated
on
our
sense
of
humor?
Could
it
be
the
makers
of
this
ghastly
travesty
of
a
film?
What
was
the
gifted
Sandhya
Mridul
thinking
doing
Charlie's
Angels
with
two
chinky
chicks
who
think
flying
through
the
air
in
clumsy
f-x
scenes
is
akin
to
touching
paradise?
There
are
a
couple
debutante
leading
ladies
hoping
to
become
stars
after
this
film.
One
of
them
looks
like
Preity
Zinta
on
a
bad-hair
day
and
Bobby
Darling
on
a
good-hair
day.
And
that's
a
funnier
joke
than
anything
you'll
see.
Oh,
I
forgot.
There
is
actually
a
funny
joke
in
this
film.
And
it's
to
do
with
a
hugely
gifted
comic
actor
called
Jameel
Khan
who
was
a
laugh
riot
as
a
music-contest
organizer
in
Manish
Acharya's
Loins
Of
Punjab
Presents.
In
White
Black
and
Purple
Jameel
is
reduced
to
an
un-funny
non-entity.
While
everyone
else
is
trying
hard
to
be
comic,
the
film's
biggest
comic
talent
stands
apart.
What
was
Jameel
thinking?
A
good
question
for
everyone
involved
except
the
director.
It's
easy
to
see
he
wasn't
thinking
at
all.
Story first published: Monday, May 5, 2008, 13:54 [IST]