In
this
day
and
age
of
Global
connectivity,
Bollywood
stars
seem
to
have
developed
the
strangest
cell
phone
etiquette.
They
want
to
be
in
touch
with
the
world,
but
at
the
same
time
they
prefer
to
remain
aloof.
This
correspondent
takes
a
look
at
this
strange
phenomenon.
Gone
are
the
days
when
the
yesteryear
stars
used
only
a
landlines,
which
was
always
manned
personally
by
them,
when
at
home.
So
much
so
that
even
their
secretaries
or
houseboys
hardly
dared
to
meddle
with
their
telephonic
chores
unless
their
Sahabs
or
Madams
were
busy
shooting
outdoors.
And
those
days
the
outdoor
locales
extended
only
as
far
as
Kashmir,
Shimla
or
Darjeeling.
Thankfully
the
technological
revolution
has
made
it
possible
to
track
the
stars
even
if
they
are
shooting
in
a
remote
corner
of
the
world.
Yet,
they
never
felt
as
insecure
as
they
do
now.
This
has
made
the
task
of
the
film
scribes
very
difficult.
The
first
thing
they
have
to
do
to
break
the
communication
barrier
is
to
get
the
latest
cell
numbers
of
the
stars,
which
keeps
on
changing..
Time
to
unravel
the
starry
cellular
secrets.
Beginning
with
Jackie
Shroff
aka
Jaggu
Dada.
He
is
the
only
star
who
has
not
changed
his
number
after
going
mobile.
Also,
he
makes
it
a
point
to
answer
all
his
calls
with
the
same
standard
opening
line,
'Haan
bol
biddu,
kaise
yaad
kiya?" He
could
be
at
the
other
end
of
the
globe,
yet
he
patiently
answers
all
his
callers
and
assures
that
he
would
do
the
needful
only
on
returning
back
home.
One
actress
with
an
unusual
phone
phobia
is
Bipasha
Basu
{Bips!}.
When
yours
truly,
after
several
attempts,
finally
managed
to
track
her
on
phone,
she
avoided
prolonging
the
conversation
saying:
“You
have
caught
me
on
a
wrong
day
as
I
have
been
hospitalized
for
a
serious
ailment.
I
generally
don"t
take
calls,
but
if
it"s
necessary
just
send
me
a
SMS.
I
will
definitely
get
back
to
you."
Definitely,
Ms
Bips!
The
story
repeats
for
her
hunky
better
half
John
Abraham.
Every
time
I
managed
to
get
him
on
the
mobile,
he
would
give
a
similar
excuse
no
matter
what
the
time
or
the
date.
“You
have
caught
me
on
a
wrong
day
as
I
am
in
a
hospital
attending
to
a
friend
who
has
been
hospitalized
for
a
serious
ailment.
Besides
I
have
made
a
conscious
decision
of
not
giving
any
interviews
till
my
next
release
comes
up."
Now,
now
guys
you
can
put
two
and
two
together
and
draw
your
own
conclusions.
Okay!
Then
there
are
two
other
stars,
who
never
take
their
calls
directly
Sunjay
Dutt
and
Suniel
Shetty
unless
they
know
a
scribe
on
a
one
to
one
level.
But
for
first
timers
and
strangers,
they
see
to
it
that
the
caller"s
message
is
not
only
delivered
to
them,
but
action
is
promptly
taken.
Sunjay
Dutt"s
Man
Friday
not
only
receives
the
call,
but
also
fixes
up
a
proper
appointment
for
you
and
rests
only
when
he
plonks
you
right
in
front
of
the
Deadly
Dutt.
And
the
same
holds
true
in
case
of
Anna
Suniel
Shetty.
Of
course
with
his
own
Man
Friday
gracefully
coordinating
the
whole
affair.
Queen
Bee
Rani
Mukherjee
and
the
ravishing
Raveena
Tandon
too
never
answer
their
calls
directly.
The
former
makes
her
mother
and
the
latter
makes
her
secretary
to
do
the
needful.
On
the
other
hand
the
gorgeous
Bollywoodian
diva
Rekha"s
Man
oops
Woman
Friday
Farzana
does
gets
back
to
you
only
when
you
send
her,
first
a
detailed
SMS
and
then
your
detailed
requirements
or
rather
the
core
of
your
story
and
that
too
funnily
enough
both
on
her
pager!
Oh!
Both
of
them
still
seem
to
be
living
in
Stone
Age!
While
former
Miss.
Universe
Sushmita
Sen"s
houseboy
really
gets
on
your
nerves
as
he
always
cradles
the
cell
phone
and
delivers
a
cliched
round
the
clock
reply.
“Memsaab
so
rahi
hain
ji."
Next,
when
I
had
tried
to
contact
Faffy
dear
oops
Aftab
Shivdasani,
he
was
holidaying
alone,
or
so
he
wanted
me
or
every
caller
to
believe,
in
South
Africa.
So
naturally
his
mobile
had
a
recorded
message.
“Call
my
mom
on….."
I
did
and
then
thankfully
his
mother
Joyce
Shivdasani
not
only
attended
my
call,
but
also
delivered
my
message
on
the
South
African
hotel
number
of
the
'Mast"
and
'Masti"
bhara
actor.
Who
promptly
called
me
back
from
his
overseas
sojourn
and
instantly
fixed
up
the
interview
session
for
the
day
he
would
land
up
on
the
home
terrain.
So
once
he
reached
Mumbai
he
called
me
up
on
my
cell
and
asked
me
too
meet
him
up
at
the
airport.
The
interview
was
done
in
his
car
on
his
way
back
home.
But
then
trust
Akki
aka
Akshay
Kumar
for
his
constant
cellular
pranks.
The
moment
I
dialed
his
number
'His
Masters
Voice"
boomed
in
my
ears,
“
Hi!
I"m
Akshay
Kumar
and
you
know
what
to
do?"
Yes.
I
knew.
I
left
a
message
for
him
in
his
voice
mailbox
and
forgot
about
it.
The
next
thing
I
knew
was
that
his
Woman
Friday
Ms
Pooja
started
hounding
me
on
my
cell
phone
that
too
at
unearthly
hours
for
'fixing"
up
an
interview
almost
akin
to
a
match-fixing
syndrome.
But
alas!
The
interview
never
happened
until
I
was
on
the
verge
of
tearing
my
hairs
apart.
As
in
the
meanwhile
the
action
hero
had
safely
left
for
one
of
his
foreign
shoots.
And
finally
before
I
could
heave
a
sigh
of
relief,
Akki
Baba
gave
me
a
midnight
jolt
by
making
an
overseas
apologetic
call
with
the
option,
“Can
we
do
a
telephonic
interview
now?"
Since
I
was
already
bugged
by
his
pranks,
I
politely
declined
his
generous
'overseas"
offer
then.
The
reward:
An
excellent
vibing
with
him
since
then
with
no
more
mobile
pranks
repetition.
Last
but
not
the
least
is
the
father
and
son
duo
of
Suresh
and
Vivek
Oberoi
in
tandem
with
their
joint
Woman
Friday.
So
just
as
an
absentee
student
lands
up
in
school
with
a
medical
certificate
first
she
and
then
Papa
Oberoi
always
return
my
calls
with
an
excusable
cellular
medical
report
on
behalf
of
their
always-recuperating
Jr.
Oberoi"s
sickly
state
of
affairs.
Until
I
had
finally
caught
up
with
the
healthy
looking
Vivek
at
a
Mumbai
premiere.
Oberoi
Baba
clarified,
“Don"t
you
trust
them?
You
see
I
have
now
been
nicknamed
a
china
doll,
by
one
and
all,
as
I
keep
having
this
great
humpty
dumpty
fall."
Needless
to
say
I
was
dumbfounded.
So
the
ultimate
analysis
of
the
Bollywoodian
stars
Cell
phone
phobia
is
that
after
all
these
and
more
'accidental"
and
typically
funny,
filmy
cellular
encounters.