It's hard to believe that Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput is no longer with us! The actor's untimely demise has shocked the entire nation. Reports suggest that the actor was suffering from depression. At the same time, conspiracy theories around his demise continue to hit the internet.
Amid all this, we recently came across a throwback speech of Sushant, in which the late actor opened up about why he became an actor, and decoded the true meaning of success. We bet you won't be able to hold back your tears while reading it.
Sushant Had Said That He Became An Actor Because He Had A Problem
In 2016, while speaking at an event at IIT Bombay, Sushant revealed, "I became an actor because I had a problem. I was an introvert. I am the youngest one in my family. And I was so pampered in my house that when I used to step out, I didn't know how to deal with people. So, gradually, I became this very shy, introvert kid who couldn't talk. Well, I still cannot talk. I have the stage fright. So what I do generally as an actor is, I hide behind all these fascinating characters and then I am confident."
The Biggest Lie About Success Was Money Plus Recognition Is Equal To Happiness: Sushant Singh Rajput
Explaining the meaning, the actor said, "I come from a middle-class family. And when I was growing up, money was a big differentiator in my life. Also, in the three generations of my family that I know of, that are documented, nobody knew what fame felt like. So, basically, both money and recognition were missing when I started out. My family told me I had to become an engineer. Medicals were booked for my sisters. Once I am an engineer, I can try the civil Services Examination and that will be opening the doors for all kinds of happiness, I will be forever successful and I will be forever happy. This is the condition that I experienced while I was growing up. So, I became very good in my studies. Did fairly well in my 10th board exams and then, off I went to Delhi for my plus two, got myself enrolled in a nice school and Vidya Mandir and FIITJEE and half a dozen other coaching institutes. And I used to share my room with three other aspirants. Finally, I slogged and got admission in Delhi College of Engineering. I was telling myself, 'You know what? Now you have made it.' You should be happy because you are supposed to be happy. But, it wasn't working that much. Something was missing, there was a void I could feel. So, I thought maybe something bigger was required. For some reason incessantly, while the first 18-19 years of my life, the future me was much happier, much successful than the present one. So, I started preparing myself for civil service examination, and I was forcing myself to slog, but I was bored. UPSC exams were still far away. In the meantime, I thought of doing theatre and learning dance because to counter the shyness I had, still have, and also because there were no girls in my engineering college for some reason. Once I started with performing arts, I knew one thing for sure, I knew I quite like it. I was actually very serious about it and I dropped out of my college in the third year, when I was just two semesters away from getting the degree."
How Sushant Singh Rajput Became An Actor!
He continued, "I come to Mumbai and got heavily into theatre, and also other skills that I thought were necessary to become an actor. This time, I stayed with six other guys in a single room, kitchen. This time, there was one difference, I was driven. My self-respect was at stake. My ex-college mates thought I was that disaster that folks in engineering and B-schools should never become. So, I had to prove a point to everybody. I had to prove a point to my family. Most importantly, I had to prove a point to myself. And this was the time, when I was also a background dancer. So, I was dancing behind all the possible stars that you can think of, Shah Rukh Khan, Shahid Kapor, everybody. I was thinking to myself while I was performing, "Okay, it's just three steps away. There I have to get and everything will be sorted." And I kept going like that. And two years later, guess what? I got myself my first big break. I was selected for a primetime show on a TV. It was a seriously big break because I started earning. People started recognizing me. To be honest, I would deliberately go and roam in all these malls so that people could look at me and smile, and ask for my photograph. (laughs) And I was watching myself on the TV for the first time. It was a big high. I also suddenly discovered that I actually had many friends who were absent all this while, but suddenly they popped up. And the show become popular. I was making good money to a point that money stopped being a differentiator in my life."
'I Felt Cheated': Sushant Singh Rajput
Talking about his successful life, Sushant revealed, "I bought myself a first dream house, my first dream car and I was getting such female attention that my engineering college friends could only possibly dream of. So, I was having a time of my life. And then something unusual happened. I got used to everything. And I felt cheated. I stayed with all these dreams for 10 and 15 years of my life. I was promised happiness and I was promised success, but all these things stayed with me just for a few days. And I am punctuating me because I started from zero money and zero recognition. So I was not happy. How can that be?"
"I didn't like this version of success, and the future me again was living the present me. But this I decided...otherwise. I would do something else. I figured that seemingly big things were not that big once I got them. And looking back in the past, I realized that maybe smaller things were way bigger. And there was one thing that was missing in my life that was the cause of this illusion. And that thing that was missing, was now. I was all these years, just, I was obsessed about what's going to happen. I used to draw those flow charts that we are taught in schools, that if this happens I will do that, and six months from now, I will be here. So, I wanted to be in control. I was so obsessed about my future. I was taking the entire responsibility about the past. But all I was doing was frequently swinging from past to future and not living in actual sense. I also figured that when I performed on the stage or in front of camera, I am so much excited and interested. I was paying so much attention that there was no room to think about future or the past. I was just there in the moment. I was alive in true sense, when I was performing. And for the first time, I understood the true meaning of success, which was not money plus recognition, but it was now plus excitement. This realization happened in 2011, and it has been five years."
Sushant Singh Rajput Decodes The True Meaning Of Success
"When I was in school, 4 to 5.30 pm was the time when I was allowed to go out and play. I was asked to be an engineer, but the entire day I used to wait for 4pm to happen. I would step out and the next one and a half hours, felt like five minutes. I didn't understand this then. But now, very honestly and very confidently, I can tell you that I am living that 4 to 5.30 life right now since last five years," said the actor.
"Causes and effects are not different. Excitement is the cause, excitement is the effect. I get hired again and gain, because all these success mantras that we talk about, you know hard work, belief, focus, vision, risk-taking, talent, perseverance, we can go on and go. All these all success mantras are now side-effects of the process itself. I am so engaged, it commands my attention so much that there is nothing else that I can think about. So, hard work doesn't feel like hard work. "Here I am right now, five years down the line. Money and fame, all this still could not earn back the reputation in my life. But let me assure you one thing. I have much more of them than I had ever planned," Sushant concluded his speech.