He
is
one
of
India's
biggest
superstars
but
Bollywood
actor
Shahrukh
Khan
says
it
is
lonely
at
the
top
and
he
is
constantly
fighting
with
the
"feeling
of
emptiness".
"There
is
something
wrong
in
me.
I
sense
it.
I
feel
it
but
I
don't
know
what
it
is," Shahrukh
said
during
the
ThinkFest
conclave,
an
annual
event,
in
Goa.
"I
have
a
beautiful
family.
I
have
a
few
friends
with
whom
I
spend
lot
of
time.
I
don't
want
to
die
like
my
father.
I
don't
want
to
be
unknown.
I
would
like
to
be
just
successful.
Believe
me
it
is
lonely
at
the
top." Shahrukh,
who
turned
47
recently,
is
in
the
process
of
giving
final
touches
to
his
autobiography.
"Somehow
there
is
this
feeling
of
emptiness.
I
have
this
restlessness,
strangeness,
which
I
fill
up
with
my
acting."
The
actor,
who
lost
his
father
at
the
age
of
15,
recalled
how
his
family
was
always
short
of
money
in
his
childhood.
"Once,
my
father
took
me
to
show
a
cinema
in
Delhi.
He
did
not
have
enough
money.
We
sat
near
Kamati
auditorium
and
he
told
me
that
it
is
wonderful
to
see
the
vehicles
passing.
When
I
want
to
take
my
son
out
for
a
movie
I
should
be
able
to
show
him
the
movie
and
not
the
cars,"
Shahrukh
said.
He
has
been
ruling
the
film
industry
since
his
successful
debut
with
1992
film
Deewana
but
Shahrukh
says
he
always
had
a
fear
of
failure
that
his
father
went
through.
"I
think
my
father
was
most
successful
failure
in
the
world
and
I
am
proud
of
him,"
the
actor
said,
adding
that
his
father
was
a
"handsome
Pathan".
Shahrukh
also
got
nostalgic
about
the
moment
when
his
father
died
and
his
body
was
brought
home.
"My
sister
just
collapsed
and
for
the
next
two
years
she
did
not
recover
from
the
shock.
She
didn't
cry
but
she
could
not
face
the
reality
of
our
father's
death,"
he
said.
"A
lot
of
things
which
are
Bollywood-like
or
flamboyant
in
me
are
actually
to
cover
up
my
emotions.
I
don't
have
guts
to
be
so
simple.
To
avoid
depression
I
act."
Shahrukh
said
that
90
percent
of
the
things
which
he
depicts
in
the
films
are
experiences
of
his
life.