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AR Rahman: 'I Thought Of Committing Suicide Many Times, Felt I Was Not Good Enough'!
The musical maestro AR Rahman revealed that he constantly used to think of committing suicide until the age of 25 because he was depressed and thought he was not good enough.
The musical maestro AR Rahman is one of the best composers not only in India, but all across the world and his achievements in the field of music is tremendous. He has composed music to several hit movies in Bollywood and the South as well. He even won the Oscars for the Original Score in Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire and made India proud. Despite being such a huge success, AR Rahman revealed that he was depressed in his younger days and thought of suicide up until the age of 25, just because he felt that he was not good enough. It's shocking, right? Here's what he said...
I Felt To Commit Suicide Until The Age Of 25
"Up until 25, I used to think about suicide. Most of us feel we are not good enough. Because I lost my father, there was this void... There were so many things happening. That in a way made me more fearless. Death is a permanent thing for everyone. Since everything created has an expiry date, so why be afraid of anything?" said AR Rahman to PTI.
After My Father's Death I Felt Dormant, Could Not Do My Daily Tasks Easily!
"Before that, things were dormant so may be it (the feeling) manifested then because of my father's death and the way he was working, I didn't do many movies. I got 35 movies and I did two. Everyone wondered 'How are you going to survive? You have everything, grab it.' I was 25 then. I couldn't do that. It's like eating everything. You become numb. So even if you eat small meals, make it fulfilling."
I Wanted To Become Another Person, I Didn't Even Like My Own Name!
"I never liked my original name Dileep Kumar. I don't even know why I hated it. I felt it didn't match my personality. I wanted to become another person. I felt like that would define and change my whole (being). I wanted to get rid of all the past luggage."
I Feel Jaded Doing The Same Thing Everyday!
"You feel jaded if you do the same thing. You need to find different things to do. For me travelling, parenting and spending time with my family - though I can't do that much - is beautiful. It helps a lot," he summed it up to PTI.
