A
lot
of
us,
who
have
grown
up
on
masala
cinema
of
1970s
and
1980s,
will
vividly
recall
two
films
made
on
ichhadhaari
naagins
-
Rajkumar
Kohli's
Nagin
(1976)
and
Harmesh
Malhotra's
Nagina
(1986).
Can
we
ever
forget
the
revenge
of
the
naagin?
Can
we
ever
forget
the
gripping
plot,
the
spellbinding
drama,
the
lilting
music
and
of
course,
the
unforgettable
performances
by
Reena
Roy
and
Sridevi,
respectively?
When
a
film-maker
attempts
to
make
a
film
on
an
ichhadhaari
naagin
in
2010,
the
viewer
expects
to
watch
all
of
the
above,
besides
great
visual
effects
of
course.
More
so
because
Hisss
is
helmed
by
a
Hollywood
director
-
Jennifer
Lynch.
But,
to
put
it
bluntly,
Hisss
is
a
nightmare.
The
film
has
absolutely
nothing
to
offer
-
no
story,
no
screenplay,
no
songs,
no
performances…
Even
the
making
is
so
tacky.
Final
word?
If
there
were
Razzies
in
Bollywood,
Hisss
would
win
hands
down.
The
story
is
about
the
vengeance
of
an
ichhadhaari
naagin.
George
(Jeff
Doucette),
a
ruthless
American,
travels
to
the
jungles
of
India
and
captures
her
mate.
She
transforms
into
a
woman
(Mallika
Sherawat)
with
absolutely
no
clue
about
contemporary
civilization
or
the
ways
of
mankind,
and
ventures
into
the
city
in
desperate
search
for
her
lover
with
vengeance
on
her
mind
and
venom
in
her
fangs.
Vikram
(Irrfan
Khan)
is
entrusted
the
responsibility
of
solving
the
murders
and
tracking
down
the
mysterious
killer.
Films
like
Hisss
make
you
realize
what's
going
wrong
in
Bollywood
today.
On
one
hand,
we
celebrate
the
new
stories
being
told
in
our
movies
and
on
the
other,
we
churn
out
a
Hisss,
which
is
badly
scripted,
poorly
enacted
and
carelessly
directed.
Believe
me,
it's
easy
to
solve
the
crossword
puzzle
in
newspapers
than
it
is
to
understand
what
exactly
is
going
on
in
this
film.
As
for
director
Jennifer
Lynch,
she
needs
a
crash
course
in
film-making
pronto.
The
visual
effects
seem
straight
out
of
a
B-grade
Bollywood
film.
Actors
often
tell
me
that
they
choose
films
based
on
the
script,
so
what
exactly
did
Irrfan
Khan
see
in
Hisss?
Mallika
has
no
dialogue
all
through
the
film,
she
changes
lenses,
then
changes
into
a
snake
outfit
and
also
goes
full
monty.
That's
it!
Divya
Dutta
is
wasted.
Raman
Trikha
is
passable.
The
actress
enacting
the
role
of
Divya's
mother
is
okay.
On
the
whole,
Hisss
is
best
avoided.
Director:
Jennifer
Lynch
Cast:
Mallika
Sherawat,
Irrfan
Khan,
Jeff
Douchette,
Divya
Dutta,
Raman
Trikha