Bullet Train Movie Review: Slick And Stylish But Tedious Brad Pitt Film

The novel 'Maria Beetle' by Kotaro Isaka that this movie is based on, follows several hitmen aboard a Tohoku aka Bullet Train, crashing and burning against each other, spilling blood, guts, and gore along the way, in their attempt to get to the briefcase loaded with cash and gold biscuits. David Leitch's Brad Pitt starrer follows the same trajectory in super earnest but the sense of fun is not all-enveloping.

Doesn't seem like the makers bargained for very many others on board the super-fast train so it's basically easy season for the adversarial assassins. They take their time carousing through the compartments, sharing inanities and indulging in slick, speedy action and kills but the coveted briefcase keeps shifting hands.

Ladybug (Brad Pitt) a returning-from-a-break assassin, without a weapon other than his dry but blunt and unseasoned wit, trying to reinvent himself after a tryst with peace, has the onerous task of engaging with a train load full of killers.

His mission to retrieve the sought-after briefcase is fraught with a minefield of difficulties - but it's not only the super-sharp weaponry or killer skills he has to worry about. Wading through depressed lags in runtime are some really stupid derailments into unpalatable banter that keep coming in between action stunts, thus butchering the momentum.

Leitch, who has worked with Pitt earlier (also as his stunt double in films like Fight Club, Ocean's Eleven, Troy, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith) appears to share an easy-going camaraderie with the Hollywood Superstar and it shows up on the screen. Pitt's impressive presence and easy performance allow for some fluidity in a narrative based on a screenplay riddled with doubt and confusion.

This film was initially developed by Antoine Fuqua as an all-out violent action thriller but a proprietorial change of hands decided on a light-hearted action comedy style that doesn't appear to have been developed well enough to score sustainable wins with an audience.

The narrative strategy to keep throwing deadly obstacles at Ladybug, who appears to be remarkably good at improvising his way out of trouble - doesn't seem to be enough to keep the audience in their seats.

The mayhem aboard the superfast train isn't logically possible and the visual effects aren't all that convincing either, even though it's all gloss and glass.

There's a surfeit of brutality and gore on display here but despite the super-slick veneer and pop-music serenades in the background, there's very little take-home. Save for brief moments of levity, much of the comedy falls flat.

This is the kind of Hollywood action movie that's mindless, a cross-cultural mishmash, largely formulaic (Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie's films appear to be an inspiration), and even the stars from across continents aren't able to invoke an affection that could transcend cultures and borders.