Eijaz Khan: When I Act, I Feel Like Parts Of Me Begin To Heal

It was a sense of liberation that made actor Eijaz Khan choose a career in acting. Eijaz, who has been part of projects such as Jawan, Dhoom Dhaam, Tanu Weds Manu, Adhrishyam and City of Dreams, says that while he never harboured dreams of becoming an actor, he loved how performing made him feel.

"I didn't know I would become an actor. I never aspired to be one. Initially, when I started doing plays or performances during summer camp in school, it gave me a sense of liberation and freedom. I think I was too much of an introvert as a child. But when I was on stage, I never really cared about what people thought of me or how they reacted. It just felt like a Zen-like state. I would simply do my thing-and suddenly, there would be applause, validation, praise. That sense of freedom was the first thing that attracted me. Then I became a dancer. Eventually, I started doing ad films," he says.

Things started to flow on their own. "Frankly, I never consciously thought about what I was doing. There was no intentional action-it all just started happening on its own."

The actor says that honing his craft brought him peace. "When I entered the industry as an actor, or when I got opportunities to work as one, there was no playbook. There was no blueprint. Acting wasn't a dream of mine, but somehow, it found me. At first, it was a means of survival-a way to get by, a way to express myself. Later in life, it turned into something deeper, something more real," he says.

He adds, "When I act, I feel like parts of me begin to heal. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm not sure if a lot of people will understand this, but the roles I play give me a form of catharsis. That's why I choose the roles-and, in a way, the roles choose me. Now, where I am today, my ambitions as an actor aren't just about visibility or validation. It's more of an inward journey."

He adds, "Acting gives my life meaning. This pursuit of excellence, of mastery over my craft, gives me a sense of satisfaction. That little bit of fulfillment. Having said that, I notice something when I speak with upcoming actors or performers. Many of them seem to be chasing fame. I'm not saying that's wrong-but I think what I'm chasing is truth. That one moment where heart and mind connect. That moment-how I show up in it, how I exist as a human being in that space-that's what I'm after."