Bipasha Basu says playing a jealous actress past her prime in Raaz 3D was emotionally draining as she could not identify with the evil nature of her character. Bipasha says she pushed herself maximum to portray the character of Shinaaya, an actress who resorts to black magic to get her career and lover back in the horror film, which hits the theatres on September 7.
"I did not know how to bring in so much darkness because I am a happy person. I did not have any reference point. But I had to deliver and I think it was the nervous energy that brought me into that zone. It is the maximum I have pushed as an individual to perform. This role has depressed me, drained me and has broken me down," Bipasha told PTI.
The Bong beauty says she is fascinated by the dark side of human nature and that was one of the reasons that prompted her to return to the franchise a decade later after 2002 Raaz, also her career's first hit. "All over the world, actors are fascinated by dark roles because the good is very predictable. We all are very normal beings who fear things. I have played such roles and it is fine but a dark character is always more exciting," says Bipasha.
The actress, who started her movie career with a grey role in Ajnabee, believes that Raaz 3 would be one of the darkest roles of her career. The 33-year-old, whose break-up with John Abraham hogged the limelight until recently, says playing an actress on-screen made her realise how vulnerable actors are in real life.
"This role made me think that how we don't accept the basic fragile emotions that we actors have. We are always supposed to be strong, perfect creatures to others. Everybody envies our lives but there is a lot more fragile about actors."
"You have to be the same human being that everyone else is but you have to put up a front all the time otherwise you are going to be scrutinised, you are going to be poked, wounded and hurt," she says. The actress says working on the film, which harps on the insecurities of the showbiz world, helped her come to term with her personal life too.
"The film brought out the little bit of human in me. I learnt to accept that there are things that are going on in my life that I need to accept. I am not this pillar of strength that I project for people who love me or look up to me. I accepted during the course of this film that it is okay to be fragile and vulnerable."
Asked if she was forced to tap into the insecurities that come with the profession, Bipasha says she is well acquainted with fame and failure. "As an actor I have gone through real exciting and turbulent times. It is the truth in every actor's life. Nobody is safe. You have to hit the bottom to climb up again. You need to know the flavour of both. But my character's problem is that she adopts really dark means to retain her fame."