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Who's getting married and who isn't...

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By: Deepa Gahlot, IndiaFM
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The industry is worried. They got so used to front-page coverage and 24X7 telecasts, thanks to The Wedding, that the whole scene now seems thanda. Some gangster's mother suing Sanjay Gupta (very desperate publicity stunt) or Rakhi Sawant in clown costume dancing at a home for the aged doesn't cut the ice. To put Bollywood back in the limelight, what is needed badly is another star wedding. So a delegation of media and industry people approached a lot of single stars requesting that they get married. And this is what they were told:

Bipasha Basu: John comes home to me every night, why do I need a wedding?

Salman Khan: What's the hurry dude? Abhi to main jawaan hoon. Let Katrina get a little older.

Katrina Kaif: Who's Salman Khan?

Rani Mukherjee: I am not allowed to talk about it.

Preity Zinta: Get lost guys, get a life!

Mallika Sherawat: Sure, get Brad Pitt to propose. Ah wanna go to Hollywood.

Priyanka Chopra: What? Now? I have just started grabbing everybody else's roles. Let them get married, na?

Kareena Kapoor: No way! People will say I am getting married because I have no work.

Shahid Kapoor: Whatever she says....

Vivek Oberoi: I am looking...have to look for an imperfect woman, and in these days of plastic perfection, she's hard to find.

Tusshar Kapoor: Will have to ask sis Ekta, to ask her various astrologers and tarot readers, then I'll let you guys know.

Ritesh Deshmukh: I don't have a girlfriend, never have and.... well you need a girl to get married to, nahin kaa?

Akshaye Khanna: With my career in this state, who'd marry me?

Rakhi Sawant: All men are *** I don't even want to get married. But here take some of my latest photos- my cleavage they will make it to the front pages.

(The delegation now really frantic, take some wild chances)

Rekha: I am the Chosen One, I can only marry Him and I can wait till I am 80, because true love never dies.... Wait, I haven't finished my lecture on myself!

Nana Patekar: Bhool gaya, am I divorced or not? Will have to check with the wife!

Sanjay Dutt: But I did get married to Maanyata, or didn't I? Did I say that when I was drunk, or didn't I? Bada chemical locha hai, yaar.

Ram Gopal Varma: I don't believe in marriage, but let me prepare a statement on the futility of family films and dictate it to the media.

Karan Johar: But my house is full of clothes, where will I keep a wife.

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