Sanjay
Dutt
Would
Get
Violent
In
an
interview
with
Society
magazine
in
1987,
Namrata
recalled
how
she
tried
to
get
Sanjay
Dutt
out
of
his
drug
addiction.
The
magazine
quoted
her
as
saying,
"Everyday,
I
used
to
try
to
talk
to
him
but
it
was
no
use.
He
just
couldn't
live
without
them.
He
would
get
violent,
we
would
fight,
even
come
to
blows".
It
Was
Like
Going
Through
Hell
She
said,
"One
particular
night
he
came
home
drunk,
totally
plastered,
and
this
after
my
mum's
death,
was
too
much
for
me.
I
yelled
at
him,
and
he
yelled
back,
so
I
pushed
him
and
he
pushed
me
so
hard
that
I
fractured
my
toe.
Oh
god,
but
those
were
terrible
days.
I
went
through
hell."
Dutt's
Drug
Addiction
"I
was
already
on
drugs
when
my
mother
was
being
treated
for
cancer.
Rocky
(his
debut
film)
was
being
made
and
I
remember
that
I
was
so
addicted
that
once
I
travelled
with
1
kilogram
of
heroin
hidden
in
my
shoes.
My
two
sisters
were
also
with
me
on
the
same
flight.
At
that
time,
checking
at
airports
was
not
so
strict.
Today,
when
I
think
about
the
incident,
I
get
scared.
Main
pakda
jaata
toh
theek
tha
(If
I
got
caught,
it
was
fine),
but
what
about
my
sisters?
Drugs
do
this
to
you.
You
don't
care
about
family
or
anything
else,"
Sanjay
recalled
while
speaking
to
the
media
in
2016.
Nargis's
Death
Left
Sanju
Shattered
When
his
mother
Nargis
succumbed
to
cancer
in
1981,
Dutt
was
shattered.
It
is
said
that
he
returned
with
the
vengeance
to
booze
and
drugs
he
used
to
take
earlier
for
kicks.
Last
year
in
2017,
Dutt
opened
up
about
this
phase
at
an
annual
convention,
'It's
not
that
I
started
because
of
mom.
Mera
dog
mar
gaya
toh
daaru
pi
raha
hoon,
aaj
mera
gadha
mar
gaya
to
daaru
piyunga
' these
are
just
excuses.
Substance
abuse
is
something
that
you
do
if
you
want
to
do
it.
Once
you
get
into
it,
it's
very
difficult
to
leave.
It
is
the
worst
thing
in
the
world."
When
Sanjay
Finally
Decided
To
Give
Up
Drugs
"I
used
to
do
a
lot
of
cocaine
then.
And
cocaine
aapko
upar
le
jata
hai,
toh
aapko
neeche
aane
ke
liye
daaru
peeni
padti
hai.
One
day,
I
came
home
high,
had
alcohol
and
went
to
sleep.
When
I
woke
up,
I
asked
the
house
help
to
get
me
something
to
eat.
And
he
told
me
‘Baba
aap
do
din
baad
khana
kha
rahe
hain
(Baba
you
are
eating
food
after
two
days)'.
I
looked
at
myself
in
the
mirror
and
felt
ki
main
100%
marne
wala
hoon,
that
was
when
I
asked
my
father
for
help."
Dad
To
The
Rescue
Soon
after,
he
joined
a
rehabilitation
center
in
Texas,
USA.
Speaking
about
it,
the
actor
revealed,
"My
journey
with
substance
abuse
has
been
about
12
years.
There
are
no
drugs
in
the
world
that
I
have
not
done.
When
my
father
took
me
to
America
(for
rehab),
they
gave
me
a
list
(of
drugs)
and
I
ticked
every
drug
on
it,
because
I
had
taken
all
of
them.
The
doctor
told
my
dad,
'What
kind
of
food
do
you
eat
in
India?
Going
by
the
drugs
he
did,
he
should
be
dead
by
now!'
I
Don't
Blame
People
Who
Shunned
Me
Eight
months
later,
he
returned
to
cold
indifference.
Nobody
was
convinced
that
had
overcome
his
affair
with
drugs.
Later
in
an
interview
with
Filmfare
magazine
in
1986,
Sanjay
confessed,
"I
don't
blame
people
who
shunned
me.
It
was
like
walking
down
shit
street.
I
won't
wish
that
even
on
my
worst
adversary."
Nobody
Wanted
To
Work
With
Sanjay
"It
was
a
phase
full
of
disapproval
and
disenchantment.
Nobody
wanted
to
take
note
of
my
existence.
Filmmakers
were
wary
of
signing
me.
Instead
of
supporting
my
efforts
to
find
my
foothold
once
again,
they
were
doing
just
the
opposite."
Sanjay
Took
The
Blame
On
Himself
"Well,
to
be
frank,
I
don't
blame
them
for
it.
What
was
my
track
record
then?
Cancelled
shooting
and
shattered
schedules
with
anxious
unit
members
waiting
endlessly
for
me
to
report
for
work."
Trust
Issues
"Naturally,
the
producers
had
no
reason
to
trust
me.
I
had
let
them
all
down,
betrayed
them
once
too
often.
If
I
were
in
their
position,
I
would
do
the
same-
who
would
want
to
invest
lakh
of
rupees
on
an
erratic
guy
like
me?
Filmmaking
is
no
joke...it
involves
so
much
money.
It
Was
A
Tough
Battle
"But
I
was
determined
to
come
out
of
that
wretched
situation.
I
had
to
prove
something
to
myself,
not
merely
to
the
others-
that
I
had
some
stuff
in
me,
that
I
was
worth
something.
It
was
a
tough
battle-
often
I
would
feel
I
was
trying
to
cross
an
endless
stretch
of
desert
with
no
shade,
no
oasis
in
sight."
People
Would
Look
At
Sanjay
Dutt
With
Suspicion
"There
were
days
when
people
would
look
suspiciously
at
me,
unable
to
believe
that
I
was
through
that
terrible
spell
of
addiction.
They
would
test
me
tentatively."
Challenge
Accepted
"But
as
I
began
emerging
from
it,
I
realized
one
thing.
The
tougher
the
challenge,
the
greater
the
satisfaction
of
having
met
it
successfully.
Each
step
forward
takes
you
a
step
higher
towards
your
goal."
His
Father
Sunil
Dutt
Was
His
Greatest
Strength
"What
saw
me
through
this
lean
phase
was
the
encouragement
that
I
got
from
my
family.
My
father,
who
has
been
a
pillar
of
strength
and
courage,
stood
by
me
through
it
all,
himself
suffering
silently."
Love
Conquers
All
"Then
there
were
filmmakers
Mahesh
Bhatt,
Farooq
Nadiadwala,
J.P
Dutta
and
Pappu
Varma,
who
had
the
guts
to
sign
me.
And
the
others-
my
make-up
man,
Deepak,
my
Man
Friday,
Mohammad
Ali
and
my
driver,
who
waited
patiently
and
said
silent
prayers
for
my
recovery
and
return.
I
was
touched
by
their
gesture.
Their
attitude
considerably
helped
me
rebuild
my
self-confidence.
It
was
a
great
feeling."
"Love
and
affection
are
of
utmost
importance
in
life-
particularly
when
you
are
down
and
out,
emotionally
and
physically.
They
can
really
recharge
you.
At
least
that's
what
they
did
to
me."